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Monday, September 2, 2013

Day 200: Smiles, Dip Dreams, Money, and We Got Married!



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Today I am officially 200 days FREE from nicotine after chewing tobacco for the last 16+ years of my life.  Even 200 days later I'm still amazed at how much better I feel about myself and my family.  I still have feelings both inside and out of my body that I thought would go away a long time ago.  That's just one more example of how STRONG of a grip nicotine can have one a person. 

And what's even more amazing?  I have done two things in my life that I couldn't be prouder of in just a 200 day span...WE quit (as in Stacy, my wife helped me more than she'll ever know) our nicotine addiction and....I married a woman who is sincerely out of my league.  Yes, we are married!  I couldn't be luckier or more blessed than I am right now!

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In terms of my "bad" feelings that I still have....Well they could be worse, or I guess more intense.  For instance, just recently I had a dip dream.  Yes it's exactly what it sounds like.  I had a dream that I was dipping.  I woke up in a state of depression because I thought I just let myself, my wife, our kids and all of our supporters down...I'm serious, when I woke up, for about 15 VERY LONG seconds I truly thought I had been dipping.  My chest hurt, I was sweating and I was on the verge of tears.  Then all of a sudden, I snapped out of it and let out a huge sigh of relief!  Ask Stacy, she was obviously laying beside me in bed and I freaked her out lol. 

Iv'e also had some cravings.  Some intense, some not so intense, but no matter the intensity, you must always take a craving serious or it will consume you.   I used to get bummed because I'd say to myself, "I've been off nicotine for 100 days now, why am I still getting cravings!?"  Well, the truth is, once you're addicted to nicotine (whether it's smoking or dipping), cravings can and will come and go for a loooooooong time! Maybe forever. With that being said, you should be better and more experienced at fighting them off as time goes by.

This next observation, well I'm not sure if it fits in the good or bad part of my feelings.  I guess good for me, bad for people still addicted?  You be the judge.  As many of you know, Stacy and I love a frozen coke from our nearest convenience store.  And as many of you know (or at least should know) making a stop at a convenience store usually means that MOST of the people you see there are buying one of two things (or both):  cigarettes/dip or gas! I have noticed a TON of people spending $5.00+ on a pack of smokes and almost $4.00 on one can of dip! Prices do go up and down, however, let's be honest, it's usually up!  I also noticed that almost no one buys just one pack/can at a time.  The ones who do, are back the next day buying the same thing with the illusion that they saved money the day before. I used to be one of those guys...I'd tell myself that buying one can today, and one can tomorrow that I was saving money.  How? I actually losing oney by driving my car to the store when I didn't need to.  I was an idiot and as I mentioned 1,000 times before...nicotine RAN MY LIFE. I planned my days (every single day) around my nicotine consumption.

A part from my face falling off and me leaving my family stranded, the next best part of quitting tobacco is not only the money we have saved, but actually seeing that money go to things that my family NEEDS and WANTS.  For instance, we just got Auden one of her fall/winter coats and when we realized the price, we said to each other "This is how much I/you would have spent on dip within a week!"  It was an AWESOME feeling!  Plus, those feelings will never, ever get old. Going out to dinner, filling the gas tank, paying Auden's Girl Scout fees, Becket's T-Ball fees, lunch money, groceries, bills etc, are ALL more affordable now!  It feels GOOOOOOOD!
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Another little something I learned about myself:  I was never really a big drinker, but every now and then I enjoyed having a beer.  When I'd go out with my friends I'd have several, just like anyone else.  However, having a beer ALWAYS came with a fresh can of dip.  It was one of the biggest triggers I had for nicotine!  Because of that, I waited until I was more than 100 days nicotine free before I tried a beer.  I was still nervous when I did indeed have my first nicotine free beer.  I'm happy to report that I have had beer several times now and haven't gone into "need a dip mode!"  Woohoo! I will say this though...If I had started getting beer triggers when I had a beer or two, I would have stopped drinking alcohol all together.  You see what could happen when you allow nicotine to run your life?  It really, truly, honestly and sincerely consumes your way of life...

If you have read some of my older blogs, you would know that our goal in writing these blogs was many things.  However, two of the bigger goals we had were: 1) To help/force me to hold myself responsible/accountable for both the good and bad episodes of quitting nicotine.  2) To maybe, just maybe inspire some people to try and quit.  I'm happy to say that since day 100, several people have come to Stacy and I for advice on how we managed to do it and for advice. It's almost as good as a feeling as it is to spend dip money on our families needs! As for the people who have tried to quit without help?  Well, I bet you know how that ended...

I just want to say this journey has taught me a TON of things about what is truly important in life.  It has taught that many people prefer to take the easy way out by justifying their nicotine habit instead of trying to quit.  Why?  Because it's easier to lie to yourself than to tell yourself the brutal truth!  I have a challenge for YOU.  If you smoke or chew.....Look in the mirror right now and ask yourself one question:  Is my nicotine addiction worth it?  Now.....Answer that question HONESTLY!

I'll be checking back in at day 250 whether I'm still successful or not!

Take care all...Don't forget to follow our page and other social media.  We have A LOT in store for you! 

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1 comment:

  1. 2,286 days quit for me (6/27/07).... and I can say that a lot of what you wrote is so true. I fought off triggers I didn't know I had for over a year. My most intense was when i car pulled out in front of me when I was going 75 on the highway.... slammed on the brakes and swerved to miss them, hit the shoulder of the road and it took a couple of minutes to even put the car in park. Told my wife right then, I had the biggest pull for a dip of chew I'd had in a very long time.

    Cravings will come and go as you said, but as more time goes by you'll find out it's easier to tell the bitch to get lost. I don't have many anymore and very rarely do I even look at the cans of shit. However, I was in a convience store today and noticed a huge sign with prices for various cans.... Skoal (my brand of choice) was a cool $4.49 + tax per can! Can't tell you how good it feels to not need or want one at those prices.

    Good luck with your quit and congrats on 200 days and counting (and getting married!)

    Falcoshane
    Steve

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