Day 85: Can you believe it? I only have 15 more days until I reach day 100! It took me longer than 16 years to reach this goal, which I could NEVER reach without my support group. Actually, I still haven't reached my 100 day goal but when you consider I chewed tobacco for 16 years, 15 days isn't too bad. Besides, once I reach day 100, my next goal is day 200, 300, 400, etc...
The cravings have been there, but not like they used to be. I get cravings probably five or six times a week but I have learned how to handle them. Plus, with each craving that I beat, my confidence grows and grows! It's amazing to look back at my physical and mental self just 85 days ago. I have noticed a lot of changes and Stacy can probably notice even more changes than I can notice! Actually, it's been longer than 85 days because I failed at day 40, started over and failed at day 17. Therefore, it's been what, 142 days? It sounds good saying "I've only had two dips in the last 142 days." However, my goal was not reached because my goal is to have ZERO dips in the next 50,000 days.
Stacy and I make little points all the time about things that help me stay motivated. Yes, to most people these are silly, but to me, someone who's been going through this, there is no such thing as silly if it helps me stay motivated For instance, any time Stacy or I have an empty bottle, I truly enjoy throwing it in the trash can. Why? Because I used to save them specifically so I could spit in them. It's a small victory every time I throw a bottle in the trash! Another thing is how my hands are always clean now. Before, my finger tips would be brown from putting dips in all day every day. Now, at random times Stacy will look at me and say "I love your hands being nice and clean all the time, I never knew what that was like before you quit chewing." Another is driving past any store that sells tobacco, which is just about every store in existence and giving said store the bird. It's nice driving right by with my mouth and wallet still in tact as well. Sometimes to be funny I'll ask Stacy to give the store the bird as we drive by, but she rarely does lol. Yes, if you haven't figured it out by now, she's CLEARLY the classy one in this relationship.
I also love when we go outside to play with the kids and I don't have to worry about what neighborhood kid will see me with dip in my mouth and then begin to ask questions. Worse off, what if one of those kids goes home and tells their parents about it? It would not only be uncomfortable for all parties involved, but just plain wrong on my part. Now, when we go out there is no dipping or spitting, just us enjoying quality time with the kids!
I could go on and on and on about small victories, but I'll save those for the end when we (my support group and I) reach our 100 day goal. Until then, it's time to rest and get ready for day 86! Good night all...
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