Day 51: Well, well, well...I'm officially closer to day 100 than I am to day 1! I know, it's silly, but it's something to look forward to. I am feeling good and ready to conquer the second half of the journey. Oh, and I also know the "second half" of this journey is just the beginning of the life long journey Stacy and I will be on when it comes to nicotine. the fact I chewed for 16 years won't go away after 100 days. The cravings won't ever completely go away. The money I wasted on buying dip won't re appear. The time I missed with friends and family can't be re done. However, I can spend the rest of my life making up for it. I can take advantage of all the time I will now have to be with them, instead of dipping. I'll have my face and I'll have my life. Nicotine will no longer run my life, I will no longer plan my days around my addiction. If something happens to me, I'll at least know it wasn't because of nicotine!
I went to lunch with the fellas today at the Great Wall in Sunbury. It's good, but I have to say, although there is nothing to do in the northern end of our county, we sure do have a good Chinese restaurant! Stacy and I won't miss much when we move from here but we'll miss our local Chinese restaurant! It was nice bonding time with Josh and Mike and of course we had some good laughs. On the way home, I did get a craving. I'm proud to say I called Stacy and we talked on the phone until I got back. Craving gone. Stacy saves the day again! Thanks beautiful! Hard candy and a drinks (Gatorade, water, soda) always help, but literally talking with Stacy is always the best thing for me. I'm sure it's not that way for everyone, but for me it is and it's just another of 50,000 reasons why I'm lucky to have her. I love you!
Tonight we had Burger King for dinner. I'm not sure why, but Stacy and I have been obsessed with that lately! Whoppers have been hitting the spot and we have some awesome coupons so we're hardly even spending any money. She also loves their "new" nuggets! We both agree the "new" nuggets at BK look and taste EXACTLY like McDonald's nuggets. We're surprised McDonald's doesn't have something to say about it, Yes, they are THAT identical. If you don't believe us, stop by and get some!
Speaking of Chinese food and Burger King, I'll do a weigh in tomorrow! I actually think I missed a week with my weigh ins and I have been eating a lot of garbage so it'll be interesting to see what my weight looks like. Either way, I'll be happy because I haven't chewed and that's the name of this game!
Today while dropping the kids off at school, I noticed something. It made me happy in a selfish kind of way because I know that is no longer the person I am. It also made me a little sad and a little mad because I know I used to be that person. Anyway, when I came back out of the school from taking the kids inside, I saw a mother trying to help her daughter with her dress. Keep in mind, it's spring photo day so a lot of the kids had on nice, new spring clothes. This girl, you could tell just felt like a little princess and her mom also felt proud. Anyway, there was a problem with a strap or something and just by looking at them, I knew the mother needed an extra hand. I looked inside the car and saw the father (I assume) putting in a GIANT dip! My point is this: Not only was he dipping instead of helping his little girl look pretty for her photos, but even if he decided to get out of his car to help, he'd have dip stained fingers which would almost SURELY get on her dress. Believe me, I know about the dip stained fingers from a TON of experience! Stacy knows to! Once again, I'm sorry to Stacy for all the times my fingers had dip on them. Gross. I just felt terrible for that girl and her mother. I also felt like a jerk during the ride home because I can imagine all the times I put my nicotine addiction in front of people I loved on way too many occasions. Hell, if you do it once, you have done it too many times, right? The good news is, It will NEVER happen again! In a nut shell, the actual chewer/dipper is NEVER the only victim of nicotine. Just like any other drug, there are always more victims besides the addict. In today's case, it was a little girl, a very innocent girl.
Alright folks, tonight I'm going to watch a movie called "Alex Cross." Let me see what you got Tyler Perry! I'll share my opinion on it tomorrow. Good night all...
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