Day 60: Wait, it's day 60? Wow! I'll take it! It wasn't too long ago when I was complaining about how slow this process was and how I wasn't sure if I could or would make it to day 100. I remember how I failed twice, once on day 17, once on day 40. I remember saying "I made it allllll the way to day 40 and screwed up, I'll never make it back this far again. Screw it, I give up." I remember saying that plain as day. I also remember when I started to chew again after that, I chewed for several months and without realizing it, I began chewing more and more each day. After all, who cared right? I was never going to make it back to day 40 without failing again....Oh shut up! That was the old me. That was the Brian that was full excuses and the Brian who didn't want to listen to anyone's advice. I didn't want to hear someone tell me they had faith in me or tell me I was stronger than nicotine. If I had to hear that (thank you Stacy), it must have meant that someone believed in me. (Thank you again Stacy.) Obviously, Stacy won and I've never been so thankful for a Stacy victory in my life.
I'm 40 days away from my 100 Day KillTheCan.org Hall Of Fame Gold Coin. It's a coin I haven't earned yet but I can and I will. I will be honored and lucky to have that coin. Just like all the guys who have earned it before me, I'll take it everywhere I go. It'll always be in my pocket. Any time I drive passed a convenience store or tobacco store I'll have my coin with me to remind me of how far I have come. This is not a joke to me. If you have quit nicotine yourself, you'll understand completely. If you haven't you'll probably still understand. However, if you don't quite understand why I care so much about some coin, I just don't give a shit. Right now Stacy is my coin. She's always supporting me and any time I need her to, she will drop what she's doing to help me. I can't always do that so I'll have my coin in the future. It's the only thing I have asked for when I reach day 100 and Stacy has promised me just that. Besides, if anyone deserves a true gift, it'll be HER!
People often wonder how someone can start such a gross habit. I was one of those people! Especially 16 years ago! Chewing tobacco wasn't as commercialized as it is now. It's like Christmas, it's more main stream than ever and for alllllllll the wrong reasons! I just received chew coupons in the mail and together, Stacy and I had a GREAT time ripping them up! However, attached to the coupons was a two page booklet glorifying chewing tobacco! There are all sorts of "prizes" you can win as you accumulate points: chairs, pool tables, shirts, hats, free chew, even a boat! Are you kidding me!? The tobacco industry is obviously successful when they can afford to give away prizes as big as a boat! Anyway, look below, FU chew coupons!
Yes, I know, 40 days isn't right around the corner from day 100. I'm not on day 97. I know anything can happen in 40 days....if I let it. I will NOT let it. My support group won't let it. We are a team and we will be successful TOGETHER. I've said it again and I'll say it before, My support group is stronger than nicotine. Oh and believe me, there aren't many things/people/objects stronger than nicotine. However, If nicotine and my support group got in to a fight, my support group would in a first round knock out. No bull shit!
Good night all...
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