Day 57: I'm learning, you know why? Because I'm listening better. I'm listening to Stacy and letting her be my rock. I'm listening to the guys at www.killthecan.org and seeing that I'm not the only getting cravings almost 60 days in. Hell, even though everyone goes through their own journey, I know for sure I'll get cravings for quite some time. I'm reading, researching and paying attention to that material. No, I don't always like what I read, but it sure is motivating. That material is on the web solely for the purpose to motivate someone to stop dipping. It's working. My support group is working and my brain and heart are working. If we ALL continue to keep working together, WE can NOT be beat!
I had a doctors appointment today. Almost a year ago to this day I got a new personal physician. We instantly hit it off and it's been great ever since. However, almost 365 days later, I remember the shame and guilt I felt when he asked the question all smokers and chewers dread: "So, Brian, do you use tobacco?" I was hoping he'd say "are you a smoker?" Then I could have said "no way!" But, instead, he asked the RIGHT question. I did admit it and I remember feeling shame. That was the first time when I SERIOUSLY thought about qutting. However, as you know, I wasn't serious enough! Anyway, I was excited as hell to pick his brain about tobacco and to tell him I'm on day 57! I enjoyed hearing a lot of the things he had to say. In case any current dippers out there are reading this, I'll share some of the stuff he said. 1) Every patient he has come by who quit nicotine has gone through it their own way. There is no book that has been written that every single person can follow, kind of like parenting. 2) He said some patients have an easy time (well easier), but MOST patients have a hard time doing it no matter how much they prepare. 3) Quitting nicotine is probably the hardest thing you have done in your life no matter how much you have accomplished. 4) A slip up is a slip up, not a reason to quit quitting. 5) Use your support system every day, not most days. 6) Be proud of yourself every day you go without nicotine! I'm sure there are more but those stuck out in my mind.
I'm excited to show you photos tomorrow of the cake Stacy is making. She's frickin' awesome! If any of you saw my Facebook rant last night, you will know I hate when people assume "it's just a cake!" It's not just a cake! It's hand made art! It's extremely HARD to make a specialty cake from scratch. On top of that, her cakes taste AWESOME! If you want a cheap looking and cheap tasting cake, please go to Walmart. They have plenty of them there for you.
As you all know, Stacy and I truly enjoy our Chinese buffet take out. Well, My beautiful woman took it to a whole new level tonight...She had a lot of stuff to work on for he cake so I went to pick up the Chinese food for both of us. She actually drew a diagram of the container and showed me where and what to put in each compartment of the container! Ha! How could I not love her!? If you think I'm kidding, see below, there's your proof!
With all of that being said, it's time for this guy to get some sleep. Good night all...
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