Day 18: I made it! I made it PAST the day I failed at last
time! F-U day 17! Today is officially day 18 and I feel
awesome! I can NOT and will NOT allow
myself to start over back at day 1!
Nicotine is NOT worth it! For the
783rd time so far, THANK YOU STACY! I finally feel like this blog
matters again, like it was supposed to feel when I started it. I truly believed by writing this blog every
day there was no way I could fail. I thought
this blog was fail proof. Now you know
and I know how much crap that was! You
also know I’m honest, and I hope you all felt my embarrassment, shame, and
feeling of failure through my writing. I
also hope you saw/felt the confidence I have built up since then, thanks to
Stacy and my family support group. Also,
all the guys at www.killthecan.org have
been a huge help and I look forward to being part of that brotherhood for a LONG
time to come! The tough love you receive
on that site is perfect! And, of course,
J. Wilt, she let me have it in the just the right aspect of “get your shit
together, I’m rooting for you,” and I’m thankful for that to!
To celebrate, guess what we did? Nothing lol. Stacy did tell me how proud of me she is,
which is a VERY BIG DEAL TO ME. But she
also knows that was just one step in a long journey. To be honest, it was a step I never should
have needed to take. I learned my
lesson, that’s for sure! Wait, I guess
it’s “not for sure,” until I make it to and through day 100. On second thought, when I make it to day 50
million, I learned my lesson!
Tomorrow we’re going down to my parents to celebrate my moms’
birthday. All she ever wanted was a
simple cake with roses on it. So, Stacy
being Stacy, she made my mom her cake.
It’s a beautiful cake and it’s going to TASTE AWESOME! Hurry up tomorrow! Yes, I know I’m biased, but Stacy is one of,
if not the most talented baker I have EVER been around! She won’t admit this,
but the cake below is a “simple” cake for her. It may even look easy to you,
but I can assure you, you’d mess it up!
Also, she has her little secrets for some ingredients that she puts into
the cake and it’s soooooooooooooooo moist!!!
I could eat the cake even without icing all day! Speaking of icing, her icing is second to
none! Give me some! Now!
On top of Stacy making this cake, we had a nice family day
out today and NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING feels better than spending a day with
my family while being nicotine free. I
love knowing nicotine doesn’t control my life anymore. Hell, what am I talking about; it controlled
my life and Stacy’s life. It controlled
Stacy’s life because she always small accommodations so I could get my dips,
spitters, etc. Basically, chewing is not
only bad for you, it’s kind of rude and it’s absolutely a “selfish” drug.
It’s getting later in the evening and my lady isn’t feeling great. I feel pretty bad because I’m almost positive
she got it from me. On top of that, she
has a phobia of barfing. Yes, I know, no
one likes to throw up, but she has a TRUE fear of barfing. When she’s not sick, I think it’s funny and
cute. However, now that she’s sick, it’s
not funny at all. I feel terrible for
her and I hope and pray she doesn’t barf tonight. If she does, I might actually start to
believe she’s human!
Alright dude buddies, it’s bed time, the kids kicked my
a$$! Good night all…
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