Day 2: Not a great
day. I learned that it only takes ONE
dip to truly send you back to day one. I
thought that since I had 17 days in with absolutely no nicotine, only one dip
wouldn’t put me all the way back to the beginning. Guess what?
It did! What makes it worse is the fact that it was my own fault. It was my lack of will power that put me back
at day one.
For the most of the day I’ve been ok. Stacy and I stayed busy….Until early
afternoon. The moment we got our things
done, it seemed like my mood changed. It’s
almost like the very second I took time to think about quitting chew, I became
a grouch. I became the guy that I don’t
like, the guy no one would like, and the guy that’s inside anyone who quits
their nicotine addiction. Yes, everyone
becomes irritable when they quit nicotine cold turkey. That doesn’t make it right or ok!
With some great advice from Momma Roush (and Jason B.),
Stacy and I are going to look into Chantix. Chantix is prescription medicine
specially developed to help people beat nicotine. It’s nicotine free and often not needed as
long as it’s prescribed for. I like the idea
of it based on several things. I have
heard two success stories just from people I know. I also love that it’s nicotine free, unlike
the gum and patch. Stacy and I decided
that if I’m still having issues with my cravings on 2/21, we will make an appointment
to see a doctor, that’s one week. We’d consider it before then, but it’s very
expensive. However, if I’m still having
issues a week from now, we’ll be more than happy to pay the money lol. Until then, we’re going to try other remedies
and I’m going to use the will power that I haven’t used. There are different
herbal remedies but I never know if those will work. I don’t care what you say, you don’t know if
the herbal remedies will work either lol. Hell, we don’t know what those
remedies could do! Maybe they will work, maybe not, maybe they’ll do something
different all together lol.
I’m an idiot…I’m reading what I have already typed and I
just realized I continue to PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS PAIN. I’ve been through all of this before! Hey Brian, you’re an idiot, STOP it! I’m getting sick of myself and I’m sick of
going through these days three times lol.
Today, Stacy read that most smokers/chewers fail six or more
times before they finally quit. I’ve failed twice. That in NO WAY makes me feel any better. I’m mad and disappointed in myself that I
failed twice, let alone six times! Hmmm,
only 98 days away from success lol.
Good night all…
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