Pages

Friday, February 1, 2013

Day 7: One week nicotine free and weight gain.

 photo 5b3dcfa4-3a30-44c5-b0e7-f7669e8133b8_zps8b46ae81.jpg
 
Day 7 already?  That’s one week folks!  One full week of no nicotine!  It feels great!  Ok, so there are times when it doesn’t feel so great, but with the family support I have and the self confidence I gain everyday I don’t chew, I can beat this!  Right now, we’re beating nicotine! I know it’s only been one week, but that’s a milestone you must reach in order to reach your final goal!
 
Here’s one thing I did want to talk about.  We have all heard or even used this excuse ourselves when contemplating on quitting nicotine.  Think…..Got it yet?  “I don’t want to quit right now, I’ll gain a ton of weight!”  Sure, maybe you’ll gain weight, but isn’t that better than losing your face, talking through a hole in your neck, draining your bank accounts, smelling funny, etc.?  I think it is!  Hell, I’ll probably gain some weight. 
 
With all of that being said, I’m going to keep track of my weight and post it every 7th day.  The day I started this blog I weighed myself and it said 189.2 lbs.  One week later the scale said 190.0 lbs.  I gained almost a pound.  That’s fine by me!  As the journey continues, I’ll become more disciplined with my dietary choices, but for right now, I’m doing whatever it takes not to chew tobacco.  Yes, that means eating anything I want to and eating anything I want to at ANY time!
 
Although it has only been a very small window of measurement so far, all of you “excuse givers” are correct.  You probably would gain weight and I absolutely did.  Granted, it was less than a pound.  But let me ask again, would you rather lose your face, waste your money, talk through a hole in your neck?  How about smell like funny?  I know better than anyone, making excuses is BY FAR the easiest way to say “I’m not disciplined enough to try and beat nicotine. 
 
If you’re not disciplined enough to beat nicotine, then don’t even try. And when I say “disciplined” enough, I mean mentally disciplined. I was 6 weeks into quitting the last time I tried and I thought I had the world by the uhhhhh ummmm balls!  I quit cold turkey and wasn’t chewing.  I was also tormented daily by my brain.  Every day my brain told me to chew until one day I just started chewing.  I thought I was winning every day that I didn’t chew, but I wasn’t.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was slowly giving in, waiting for a day when I could convince myself that having one dip wasn’t a big deal.  IN a way, my weak self was waiting for a time and day when I could pound on my weaker self.    I was miserable when I wasn’t chewing and I tricked myself into thinking I’d be happy again if I just had ONE dip. Then, just like that, it was two dips…three dips….one can…two cans (and more) a day.
 
Besides the family support I’m receiving, which I KNOW is the biggest reason for short term and long term success, I truly believe that I’m doing well now because I finally became miserable even when I was chewing.  Chewing tobacco made me miserable.  I still wanted and needed it, but it just made me irritable and annoyed. Every time I put a dip in I had all the symptoms that you get when you QUIT chewing lol.  I figured, If I’m going to be miserable and irritable because I’m chewing, I might as well be miserable and irritable (for the short term) while I’m NOT chewing.    If I’m correct, I have only had one “bad” day. That’s pretty good, one out of eight days, I think?  Let’s ask Stacy!  Haha.
 
Speaking of pretty good, poor Beckett was home sick from school today.  We were up with him several times through out the night.  He was a trooper, that’s for sure.  He had major diarrhea and major vomiting. The funny thing is, he handles having that kind of illness better than I do!  I’m such a baby when I’m that sick.  He was tough as nails!  I was super proud of him.
 
During our looooong night, I kept saying to Stacy, if this would have happened while I was chewing, I would have put in a dip every time we had to wake up during the night.  I would have even made sure I had a dip in while giving Becks a bath or tucking him back into bed.  It was nice to not have to make a plan that revolved around chew in order to take care of our little man.
 
Looking back on it, not only was chewing incredibly expensive and unhealthy, it was probably the most selfish thing I have ever done to myself and others.  On top of that, I did it for 16 years!  That’s A LOT of selfishness! Holy shit….I’m ashamed of myself.  I guess it’s time to make up for it huh?  I’m one week in to making up for it!  I have to start somewhere right?  Good night all…
 
 
Hey Everyone.... It's Stacy and I just wanted to post this to Brian....

 
 photo 2365fcd2-cefc-47f0-b2ae-19329d888622_zps903be27a.jpg
 
I love you and I am SO proud of you and your accomplishments this week!  YOU are doing AMAZING! xoxo
 

No comments:

Post a Comment